UNDERPINNINGS: THE (REGR)ETSY EDITION

My roommate recently introduced me to a website that I have now become quite obsessed with, regretsy.com- an homage to of all the particularly strange creations that the open forum etsy.com yields. Though I have made many an etsy purchase, none have been lingerie related. And after perusing the selection of intimates available on Etsy today, I perhaps better understand why exactly this is. Thus I present you with a collection of lingerie fit for regretsy:


French Maid Black Open Butt/ Lace Control Panties (yes they're actually listed as this), $24, from EddieJames' shop


Electric Green + Pumpkin Orange "Ringleader's Wife Bustier" (again, not responsible for this laughable nomenclature), $65, from muirhughes' shop


Blueberry Saltwater Taffy Knit Pasties, $16, from MinervaMayhem's shop. N.B. the shop owner notes: "Pasties can be applied using fake eyelash glue, double-sided tape, or spirit gum" (what exactly is spirit gum?? Given the taffy reference, I have this image in my head of adhesive attempts using pre-chewed, well, taffy. Sticky.)


Women's USC G-String Thong, $7.99, from pmtreasurechest's shop. Insert Trojan man joke here.


Black and White feather costume bra, $110, from web55's shop. At least it's acknowledged as a "costume." So there's that....


Candy Girl Nipple Tassel Kit, $25, from Cheesecakeburlesque's shop. Comes complete with Tassel Twirling instructions and Cheesecake performer Collector Card: WIN.

Note to self: must have sewing machine's shipped soon....